I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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