he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
