I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
