Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
