It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
