I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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