ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
