We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize