Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
