How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
