i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
