thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
