mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
