dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
