then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
