dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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