she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
