lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
