Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
