I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize