so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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