one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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