we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Congratulations! We have a period
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