thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
