Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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