Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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