He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
