Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
