In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
