He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
