singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
