My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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