Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize