Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
