can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
