Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can't turn off my feet"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
