He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
