sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
