I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
just found out that she named her cat after me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
