I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
