was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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