Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My dick has a subreddit
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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