I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Still dying that you shit outside
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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