i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
