So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize