Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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