Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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