we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
