i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
