Define "chronic" masturbator.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
