if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
