Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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