You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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