Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
