i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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