around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
