he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
