Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
