3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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