Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
