this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I am available for nakedness
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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