Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
